Stanley McChrystal

The hellfire missile was named after seeing Stanley McChrystal spit.

Stanley McChrystal

Stanley McChrystal recognizes that France is fucking gay.

Stanley McChrystal

Stanley McChrystal can touch MC Hammer.

Stanley McChrystal

When Stanley McChrystal was born, the only person that cried was the doctor.  
You do not want to slap Stanley McChrystal.

Stanley McChrystal

Stanley McChrystal is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Stanley McChrystal

Each day, Stanley McChrystal sleeps 4 hours, eats 1 meal, and runs 7 miles.

Stanley McChrystal

Stanley McChrystal was diagnosed with Lukemia in 1994. He gave it six months to live.

Stanley McChrystal

The highly classified footage of Stanley McChrystal's audition for MTV's Jackass is known to have caused PTSD in 91% of those who have seen it.

Stanley McChrystal

Stanley McChrystal is not politically correct. He is just correct. Always.

Stanley McChrystal

Having to read e-mails from Richard Holbrooke is a form of enhanced interrogation that would have broken a lesser man than Stanley McChrystal.

Stanley McChrystal

"The fucking lads love Stan McChrystal,” says a British officer who serves in Kabul. “You’d be out in Somewhere, Iraq, and someone would take a knee beside you, and a corporal would be like ‘Who the fuck is that?’ And it’s fucking Stan McChrystal.”

Stanley McChrystal

Stanley McChrystal went MIA in the Hindu Kush with a bottle of viagra and night vission goggles in 2003. He returned 48 sleepless hours later clutching a clump of Osama Bin Laden's hair and immediately composed George Bush's famous Mission Accomplished speech.

Stanley McChrystal

Stanley McChrystal once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "who has more testicles" contest. Stanley McChrystal won by 5.

Stanley McChrystal

Stanley McChrystal never wet the bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Stanley McChrystal

Joe Biden bites what Stanley McChrystal wants him to bite.

Stanley McChrystal

A rattlesnake once bit Stanley McChrystal. The snake died.

Stanley McChrystal

At least half of the hand injuries to US and allied soldiers in Afghanistan are directly related to attempts at ball tapping Stanley McChrystal.

Stanley McChrystal

Stanley McChrystal iced Leon Panetta fourteen times at the White House Correspondents's dinner.

Stanley McChrystal

Stanley McChrystal doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.

Stanley McChrystal

Sharks have a week devoted to Stanley McChrystal.